Fragments of a Female Consciousness….

nothing more than neurotic & divinely chaotic thoughts.

Mistakes made.

I made a big mistake,
Myself I do hate.
One that I can not take back.
Stuck in my cotton candy black.
I let my fears overtake me,
Trapped in my neurotic sensibility.

Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?
Why did I have to press send!?
It’s all over now, the definitive end!
I feel ever so sic,
Too late to take it back when I did finally click.

Stupid, stupid girl,
Now I’m lost in an anxious whirl.
Overthinking everything,
Poisoning my actions.
Now it’s all lost forever.
Thought I was so fucking clever.

I made a big mistake,
I can not unsend.
Trying to be cool but it’s all pretend.
I felt I wasn’t worthy, that I’m not deserving.
I’m just a crashing burn, internally combusting.
Watch me destroy from the inside out.
Too late now my being shouts.

I’ve fucked it all up again,
It’s all too far gone to mend.
Wish I could take it all back,
Stop my black from it’s attack.
Wanted to get him before he got me,
It’s really ever so silly.

Convinced my self it was a done deal,
A final kiss, the dying seal.
Pushed him as hard as I could,
Much more than I ever should.
Just to see if he’d come back,
A perfect fucking plan of attack.

What a silly fucking girl,
Caught in my own anxious twirl.
I’ve ruined it all,
Too scared to let my self fall.
Self sabotaging ways,
A game with several plays.

Well that’s it then,
The End.
Nothing else to be done.
Pull the trigger, shoot the gun.


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This entry was posted on March 10, 2014 by .
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